started_scarred | OOM: Letter for James and Lily (Reply)

Dear James

There's going to be a dark wizard. He's going to

Dear James

I'm sorry to have to write this, but ~~Mum~~ Lily said I shouldn't say anything. Not that she let me tell her

The Christmas present is the last straw, really. He'd opened it and read the card, Lots of love and Happy Christmas, and that was it, he has to say something. Lily and James. They're together. And that's good, of course, but it's also the next step towards their death. He can't take it anymore. Whether they want to hear it or not, he has to fix it.

James

Thank you for the present. I suppose Lily told you about my Patronus. Do you know why it's the same as yours? It's

It's in his left hand now, digging into the skin of his palm as he tries, again and again, to find a way to say it right. To say it in a way that makes it clear what's going to happen but more importantly, why it can't. Because he can't go through the next few months knowing he could have changed it all. He doesn't think he can go one more day.

Dear Dad

I should probably still call you 'James', shouldn't I? Because you'll read this, hopefully, really soon, and we haven't got to the bit yet where I get to call you 'dad'.

I'm writing because we never get to that bit. I never get to call you 'dad'. And I never get to call Lily 'mum' either, but she won't let me tell her about it, so I have to write to you. I can't risk you telling me to keep quiet about it, the way she has. She says that it would be horrible, living her life knowing that something's going to happen. I want to tell her that it doesn't have to be that way, because if she knows it's going to happen then it won't. And then everything will be alright. I know you'll understand. Everyone says how like you I am, and I know I'd want to know because then it can be put right.

Sorry. I'm not very good at writing letters. I never wrote many when I was in school, because, - I lived with Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon, and they didn't like me very much. Even before I knew I was a wizard - they knew, obviously. That I might be. But I didn't know anything about it at all until the owl showed up on my birthday, and then Hagrid arrived to take me to Diagon Alley, and - well, I suppose that doesn't matter. What matters is that you're going to die, dad. You and mum, when I'm a year old. A dark wizard called Voldemort is going to come to the house in Godric's Hollow, and kill you both because you try and stop him killing me. But he doesn't, and I end up with Petunia and Vernon, living in a cupboard under the stairs.

This is coming out all wrong. There's only one thing you need to know. When the time comes, you have to trust Sirius. Don't let him persuade you to make Peter your Secret Keeper. Peter betrays you to Voldemort, and that's how he finds you that night. That's why you both die, and Sirius gets framed and ends up in Azkaban for thirteen years. No one suspects the truth, and...well, Sirius is dead now too. But his name got cleared in the end. I was going to go and live with him. He was brilliant. But Bellatrix Lestrange killed him when Voldemort tricked me into coming to the Department of Mysteries, and I saw him fall through the veil and

The tears are making the parchment hard to write on, but Gryffindor's persevere, don't they?

and...there's another war, and I have to kill Voldemort. No one else can do it. Kill him, or be killed by him. I don't know what's going to happen. And I'm really scared. But if Voldemort doesn't kill you, then maybe I won't have to do it, and we could find some other way, or maybe Dumbledore will get him before I even go to school

That bit doesn't work. It makes it sound as though he's trying to shirk responsibility by saving his parent's lives. And it's been made clear to him that it is his responsibility. Neither can live while the other survives. But then, if Voldemort doesn't curse him in the first place, none of this will matter. It'll be fine.

If you just trust Sirius as your Secret Keeper, and make sure Peter never knows anything, then you'll be fine. And

Voldemort might go after Neville instead.

The stag has cut his hand. Blood shines on the tip of its antlers, blood his mother made safe with her sacrifice.

then we can be together. I don't want to be an orphan. I don't want to kill anybody.

Dear James and Lily

Thank you for the present. I love it. I'm going to keep it with me until Christmas, and then put it on my tree.

I hope I see you in the bar soon. I might be leaving, but I won't go without saying goodbye.

Love, Harry.